dafox wrote:Don't listen to him Freak he has no credentials for dishing out criticism, compliments and advice like that.
Excuse me, who are you?
I have been around a long time. I know I haven't posted much about my projects here lately, but I have done that in the past. There are people around here that know me and also know that my criticism, compliments and advise has meaning.
FreakLikeMe wrote:What in particular were you not a fan of?
Well, basically everything.
On technical terms It is clearly visable that you did everything with 2 limitations: No budget and short time.
The budget is a simple story. I can't tell you what to do, because I don't know your financial status. But I am pretty sure that if you would used a low budget, it would be a lot better. Imagine saving up like $50 for props and equipment. That would probably already make a change. Don't forget that filmmaking is also a hobby. It is allowed for a hobby to cost money. However, as said before, the money thing is something that is completely up to you.
As a non- or lowbudget filmmaker, you have to find a cleaver way to make your films. One of those is that you take your time. If you are shooting a 10 minute short with payed professionals, you should be able to shoot this within a day. But you and your friends? Please, take your time. I guess this is your own house. It's still gonna be there tomorrow.
You said post production was also done within the 24 hours. This will not do. Editing a movie takes approximly 1 hour per minute of film. That means that you clearly rushed through editing and I think that is clearly visable. When you cut scenes, you can actually hear the cut in the sound. That is pretty bad. The scenes should also be more floating together. There are scenes that you shot hand-held and scenes with a tripod (or something). The tripod scenes are wider and more static. Don't be affraid to cut faster during the chase scene. Those wide shots kill it now. At 4:17 I can actually see you standing still and start running, while your character was supposed to be already running.
I would like to suggest that you start the editing process all over and to take your time for it this time around.
Last part; the plot.
The plot is quite simple; man creates artificial soldier, soldier malfunctions, man tries to terminate soldier, soldier tries to kill it's creator. Also, not very original.
There have been a lot of science-fiction films like this around. I have no idea what your bigger plans are about this, but based on this short I would have to say that there has to be something big still coming to make your bigger project original.
As a young filmmaker, you have to be clever to make it in Hollywood. You have to have a vision that is revolutionairy to the modern day Hollywood. You can be revolutionairy in an old way (think of The Artist, winning the oscar for best movie), you can be in a new way (like The Matrix in 1999), but you have to be different and good.
For a lot of people, it is easy to become good. That means practice, practice, practice! However, to be different in the good way, that's the real difficulty.
Now, I know that my criticsm can be harsh and I always try not to. I guess I did not succeed in that again this time, but remember that all I want is you to start developing yourself as a filmmaker. Your friends and family will always like what you do and therefor it is very hard to obtain good criticism and I hope this really helps. No matter what dafox says about me.