First time I watch this I wanna be really high so just gimme a day or two.

mchekhov 2: Chek Harder wrote:First time I watch this I wanna be really high so just gimme a day or two.

hahah, dude, Its no 2001

Z. Cobb wrote:

mchekhov 2: Chek Harder wrote:First time I watch this I wanna be really high so just gimme a day or two.

hahah, dude, Its no 2001

then it will be no good

prince0gotham wrote:

Z. Cobb wrote:
hahah, dude, Its no 2001

then it will be no good

just watch the film, and critique it, which parts worked, which parts didn't. etc etc

i will later, keep bumpin it

I'll watch this tomorrow and post my thoughts inmediately! Looks very interesting.

didich wrote:I'll watch this tomorrow and post my thoughts inmediately! Looks very interesting.

Yes let me know, I want honest critique.

aw man i keep forgetting about this

can someone watch it and comment on it already cuz i'm watching a movie and i hate it that no one's giving him feedback

This shits all over Keegan's gay Twilightesque film.

No, but in all seriousness I really liked this. Strongest parts are the directing and the score. The problems are mostly with the script and acting. That fella (who kinda reminded me of Rafe Spall) overacted a bit and the girl (I dunno if this is an accident or this is the same girl but she really reminds me of Kelly Macdonald) needed to act more actually, I'd say both had better presence than performance. I liked them both tbh but they could've been better.

The directing however is so good for what it should be, the final few minutes really impressed me. Well done sir. Hope the best for you.

Okay, that was really great. Everything was professional. Equisetum cinematography acting (on Andy's behalf), writing and direction. It professes a level of sophistication and professionalism that few short films have. The score definitely adds the film, it's great. The pacing feels good from start to finish. I like it a lot.

Here of some critiques I have.

There's one too many establishing shots of the building, so scrap maybe the middle one.

At around 6:05 the machine goes off and it's a quick fade to black. May I recommend keeping the fade and using the same transition as you used form the girl getting up? It feels a bit off to me.

Some of the shot sequences are often from over the shoulder to slightly moved to the left and it nearly the same shot. It slightly throws me off and feels a bit awkward. It happens 3 or 4 times in the film.

Also, if you have enough shot, I'd recommend holding onto the actors' faces a bit longer at points, mainly Andy's face.

As the suspension builds up, try selecting more shots of the actors faces only. No over the shoulder or longer shots. You did that for a few sequences and it fit nicely, but the suspension dims slightly when the camera is farther back or has both actors. But sometimes the over the shoulder thing works, when its tighter. Leaving less wall space.

The few shots at 11:59 of Andy in her room feel out of place to me. It maybe would've worked if it was a simple off focus shot, not going in and out.

Overall it's a pretty excellent piece and very emotional at the end with all the combined aspects. Great job!