Muezzin wrote:That reminds me to get a move on with that Prologue 'novelisation' I am writing.

If any of you want to read it, just let me know and I'll post what I've written so far.

TehBatGetsBraked wrote:

Muezzin wrote:That reminds me to get a move on with that Prologue 'novelisation' I am writing.

If any of you want to read it, just let me know and I'll post what I've written so far.

Gimme

Muezzin wrote:

TehBatGetsBraked wrote:
Gimme

The Dark Knight Rises


Harvey Dent was a hero. Not the hero we deserved but the hero we needed. Nothing less than a knight, shining... I knew him. I was his friend. And it will be a very long time before someone inspires us the way he did. I believed in Harvey Dent.

-Commissioner James Gordon


Prologue: The Masked Man

Dr Leonid Pavel headed for freedom. Each step toward the American and his soldiers brought Pavel closer to the military plane that would propel him away from this Godforsaken country, the militiamen who had driven him to the rendezvous point, and the people they had delivered him from. He could almost taste it.

But the emotion frosting his ribs lowered his shoulders. Not fear so much as the simple suspicion that freedom came at a price.

Somehow that felt worse.

He barely lifted his gaze when the American spoke. “Dr Pavel.” The American smiled his curt, professional smile. “I’m CIA.” He handed a briefcase to one of the militiamen.

Pavel nodded at the ransom transaction, glanced past the American agent at soldiers and hangar and airstrip. He wanted to smile. This was an oasis in Hell.

Behind Pavel stood three demons, faces concealed by hoods and wrists bound by cuffs. They looked like men but had long ago renounced their humanity. Pavel had witnessed violence, had experienced malice, but these creatures and the cult to which they belonged, the plans that nest of devils had shared with him… he would not allow himself to believe human beings were capable of such evil.

One of the militiamen prodded the hooded prisoners forward with his rifle and said, “He wasn’t alone.”

The agent smirked. “You’re not allowed to bring friends.”

Under other circumstances, Pavel might have felt offended. “They’re not my friends.”

“Don’t worry,” the militiaman said. “No charge for them.”

The agent shook his head. A gust of wind blasted the scent of his cologne into Pavel’s face, and the emotion gripping his ribs blazed. For a split-second, he hated the agent. But the moment passed, and Pavel realized it wasn’t the agent he hated, despite the American’s aura of arrogance and cheap aftershave. What triggered the feeling was the inhalation itself. His own sharp intake of breath had sounded like --

He left the thought incomplete. All he wanted to do was board the plane, a wish granted by one of the agent’s soldiers who pulled him toward the steps.

As he ascended, Pavel heard the agent say, “Why would I want them?”

“They were trying to grab your prize. They work for the mercenary.” The militiaman’s smile was audible in his words. “The masked man.”

“Bane?”

That name slithered through Pavel’s guts. He entered the cabin, sat where he was told and breathed deep. A few more hours and these demons would be nothing but memories, along with their plots, their weapons, their faces. Their leader and his mask.

Batfan175 wrote:

Muezzin wrote:

The Dark Knight Rises


Harvey Dent was a hero. Not the hero we deserved but the hero we needed. Nothing less than a knight, shining... I knew him. I was his friend. And it will be a very long time before someone inspires us the way he did. I believed in Harvey Dent.

-Commissioner James Gordon


Prologue: The Masked Man

Dr Leonid Pavel headed for freedom. Each step toward the American and his soldiers brought Pavel closer to the military plane that would propel him away from this Godforsaken country, the militiamen who had driven him to the rendezvous point, and the people they had delivered him from. He could almost taste it.

But the emotion frosting his ribs lowered his shoulders. Not fear so much as the simple suspicion that freedom came at a price.

Somehow that felt worse.

He barely lifted his gaze when the American spoke. “Dr Pavel.” The American smiled his curt, professional smile. “I’m CIA.” He handed a briefcase to one of the militiamen.

Pavel nodded at the ransom transaction, glanced past the American agent at soldiers and hangar and airstrip. He wanted to smile. This was an oasis in Hell.

Behind Pavel stood three demons, faces concealed by hoods and wrists bound by cuffs. They looked like men but had long ago renounced their humanity. Pavel had witnessed violence, had experienced malice, but these creatures and the cult to which they belonged, the plans that nest of devils had shared with him… he would not allow himself to believe human beings were capable of such evil.

One of the militiamen prodded the hooded prisoners forward with his rifle and said, “He wasn’t alone.”

The agent smirked. “You’re not allowed to bring friends.”

Under other circumstances, Pavel might have felt offended. “They’re not my friends.”

“Don’t worry,” the militiaman said. “No charge for them.”

The agent shook his head. A gust of wind blasted the scent of his cologne into Pavel’s face, and the emotion gripping his ribs blazed. For a split-second, he hated the agent. But the moment passed, and Pavel realized it wasn’t the agent he hated, despite the American’s aura of arrogance and cheap aftershave. What triggered the feeling was the inhalation itself. His own sharp intake of breath had sounded like --

He left the thought incomplete. All he wanted to do was board the plane, a wish granted by one of the agent’s soldiers who pulled him toward the steps.

As he ascended, Pavel heard the agent say, “Why would I want them?”

“They were trying to grab your prize. They work for the mercenary.” The militiaman’s smile was audible in his words. “The masked man.”

“Bane?”

That name slithered through Pavel’s guts. He entered the cabin, sat where he was told and breathed deep. A few more hours and these demons would be nothing but memories, along with their plots, their weapons, their faces. Their leader and his mask.

sounds ok. Do you have the rest of the prologue as well or did you write this yourself?

Muezzin wrote:

Batfan175 wrote:
sounds ok. Do you have the rest of the prologue as well or did you write this yourself?

I wrote it myself. Anything that could be improved? Be honest. I'm thick-skinned. I'll also try and finish the rest of it...

I'm sure the official novelisation will be really good. I envy the author because he got to read the entire screenplay.

Batfan175 wrote:

Muezzin wrote: I wrote it myself. Anything that could be improved? Be honest. I'm thick-skinned. I'll also try and finish the rest of it...

I'm sure the official novelisation will be really good. I envy the author because he got to read the entire screenplay.

It's well-written for a first try but I don't think we know enough about Pavel at this point to speculate as to what he's thinking about Bane's plan and i don't think we can say at this stage that he refuses to help him because of some ideal about human nature he holds on to. For all we know he could be the one who made Bane what he is and therefore he would obviously not be averse to experimenting on human beings, which would mean human life means nothing to him.

I also would not use the word "demon" or "devil" too often because it kind of spoils the fun too early if you know what I mean ...or maybe it doesn't for those who've not been following the ens surrounding the film as closely as people on the forum?

Apart from that it's a very good read.