Wow that was just great. It was interesting all the time, wether it's slow or not.
You have made some typing-errors like Andrea said, but that's not a big deal, since you're going to do a new draft.
The ending is shocking, if I got it right, and amazing, it really surprised me.
I finally started the rewrite of the story. Some things that are going to be changed;
-We start with David getting ready for his first date with Ellen, so they already know each other a bit.
-The moon explodes on the first date (a lot sooner then in the origal script. It needed to be a little more speeded up).
-The gouvernment denies involvement with the explosion. They claim not to know what happened.
-After the 'intruder'-ship crashes, it is known to the people that the planet is being invaded.
I am not going to make a prediction on when it's ready. I'll post it when it's ready and keep you updated in the meantime.
David emerges from the store slowly. He braces himself against a parked car and then keeps on walking in a nightmarish daze.
WE PULL BACK as David blends in with dozens and dozens of ordinary people, walking on an ordinary street, in an ordinary city.
I finally started the rewrite of the story. Some things that are going to be changed;
-We start with David getting ready for his first date with Ellen, so they already know each other a bit.
-The moon explodes on the first date (a lot sooner then in the origal script. It needed to be a little more speeded up).
-The gouvernment denies involvement with the explosion. They claim not to know what happened.
-After the 'intruder'-ship crashes, it is known to the people that the planet is being invaded.
I am not going to make a prediction on when it's ready. I'll post it when it's ready and keep you updated in the meantime.
I liked it with the slow beginning but speeding things up could improve it, I'm looking forward to read it
That was a very good screenplay. I'm usually on top of my game when it comes to twists but I was very surprised with that one. I'm not usually a big fan of the put ourselves down, make me feel bad, self deprecating message...but besides that it was great! I liked how it was a very small scale, human centric story to begin with. The relationships with characters and the emphasis on the way panic effects us was very well done. My only gripe really is the dialogue...I feel like some of the dialogue is a little choppy and unnatural.
I there a program that is used for writting screenplays? I have to write with MS Word lol. I try with word to make it that format but it takes forever.
