NYLON7: A Science Fiction Thriller Set In A House

For those that have dreams of making films!

Moderator: Erik

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Erik wrote:
dafox wrote:Don't listen to him Freak he has no credentials for dishing out criticism, compliments and advice like that.
Excuse me, who are you?
I have been around a long time. I know I haven't posted much about my projects here lately, but I have done that in the past. There are people around here that know me and also know that my criticism, compliments and advise has meaning.
FreakLikeMe wrote: What in particular were you not a fan of?
Well, basically everything.

On technical terms It is clearly visable that you did everything with 2 limitations: No budget and short time.

The budget is a simple story. I can't tell you what to do, because I don't know your financial status. But I am pretty sure that if you would used a low budget, it would be a lot better. Imagine saving up like $50 for props and equipment. That would probably already make a change. Don't forget that filmmaking is also a hobby. It is allowed for a hobby to cost money. However, as said before, the money thing is something that is completely up to you.

As a non- or lowbudget filmmaker, you have to find a cleaver way to make your films. One of those is that you take your time. If you are shooting a 10 minute short with payed professionals, you should be able to shoot this within a day. But you and your friends? Please, take your time. I guess this is your own house. It's still gonna be there tomorrow.

You said post production was also done within the 24 hours. This will not do. Editing a movie takes approximly 1 hour per minute of film. That means that you clearly rushed through editing and I think that is clearly visable. When you cut scenes, you can actually hear the cut in the sound. That is pretty bad. The scenes should also be more floating together. There are scenes that you shot hand-held and scenes with a tripod (or something). The tripod scenes are wider and more static. Don't be affraid to cut faster during the chase scene. Those wide shots kill it now. At 4:17 I can actually see you standing still and start running, while your character was supposed to be already running.
I would like to suggest that you start the editing process all over and to take your time for it this time around.

Last part; the plot.
The plot is quite simple; man creates artificial soldier, soldier malfunctions, man tries to terminate soldier, soldier tries to kill it's creator. Also, not very original.
There have been a lot of science-fiction films like this around. I have no idea what your bigger plans are about this, but based on this short I would have to say that there has to be something big still coming to make your bigger project original.

As a young filmmaker, you have to be clever to make it in Hollywood. You have to have a vision that is revolutionairy to the modern day Hollywood. You can be revolutionairy in an old way (think of The Artist, winning the oscar for best movie), you can be in a new way (like The Matrix in 1999), but you have to be different and good.
For a lot of people, it is easy to become good. That means practice, practice, practice! However, to be different in the good way, that's the real difficulty.

Now, I know that my criticsm can be harsh and I always try not to. I guess I did not succeed in that again this time, but remember that all I want is you to start developing yourself as a filmmaker. Your friends and family will always like what you do and therefor it is very hard to obtain good criticism and I hope this really helps. No matter what dafox says about me.
Thanks a bunch, I will go back to post and try to fix it to make it flow better. You're right, the editing was very rushed sicne I finished it within a few hours after shooting the film in just two hours.

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I'm going to be honest here...

That was really bad. Sometimes it was comedic. Sorry, but I did burst out laughing at times.

Erik highlighted on most of the issues and he is being kind in his criticism. There is a lot of room for improvement. I just think you should think more about what you are trying to achieve.

For example the lighting and camera are pretty uninspiring. if you filmed it in a Garage, set up some desk lamps that shine through some wires, you'll get some interesting textures.

Think about each shot. does it compliment the story? what does it say?

remove the naff and banal chase sequence. it was quite embarrassing to watch.

Hope your 2nd attempt goes much better. keep practicing!

Z. Cobb wrote:Hope your 2nd attempt goes much better. keep practicing!
this is the most important thing imo. nobody starts out great, but there's truly no substitute for going out and actually trying to hone your craft. I'm sure you learned a ton from producing it and from hearing their feedback, which is really all that matters right now.

and Erik, dafox was joking lol

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Thanks for the feedback guys, this whole thing was a learning experience for me and I will take all of your ideas to improve my film into consideration.

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So.... Cult status achieved yet?

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Joined: December 2011
Hey mate, just watched it and thought I'd pitch in my two cents.

A lot of things have been covered already, so I'll try and limit this to stuff that hasn't been said yet.

Firstly, it's great that you just went ahead and made this - as flawed as it may be, doing things and making mistakes is the only way to learn and improve. And doing it really quickly and putting it out for feedback isn't necessarily a bad thing at all.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it feels like not a huge amount of time or prep went into this, in terms of refining the script, lighting, editing, etc. However you're planning to make this from scratch again - this is a really good thing. You've made what's effectively a "draft film" and you expended as little as possible, so you're getting audience feedback at minimal cost.

Use this to your advantage. You're now aware of what specifics aren't working well for your audience. Now spend the time to go back and work specifically on those. Rewrite the script. Rehearse with your actors, and read up on directing methods - a lot of people direct actors and non-actors alike in ways which result in really poor acting. Non-actors can give fantastic performances, but you need to work out how to get that out of them.

Work on basic lighting and composition. Even using basic construction work lights in creative ways can help. They're cheap, put out a LOT of light, and if you do things like bounce them off walls, or shine them through a thin white sheet, you can get really nice lighting. Practice this whenever you can. Try and borrow some audio gear (or if you have the money, invest in purchasing some if you plan on making films in the future - audio is the most important technical aspect in a film). Spend more time in the edit. Start with a basic rough cut, and then trim the fat wherever possible. Start later and end earlier.

Most importantly, study all of these things. The internet is such a good resource - there's never been a better time to be an amateur/aspiring filmmaker. So much can be learnt for free online. As a director, your job is to know every aspect of filmmaking.

Also, make your next version for as little money as possible again. Because if that doesn't work and you want to try again, or make another one, then you don't have to wait too long to save up to do it again.

If you're going to fail, fail fast.

All the best with your next version. Looking forward to seeing it.

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