my current camera setup:

niceee

This will be released in a few days.

Z. Cobb wrote:This will be released in a few days.

I'm excited!! Love your other work too.

For me, I've been crewing on other shorts recently, and after years of writing "future" projects I'm finally writing one that I can do now. First draft right now, hoping to shoot mid-late Feb. Inspired by aspects of Jonah Nolan's Person of Interest, specifically ethical debates that a decidedly stuck in the grey area.

Okay finally the upload worked. We had to change some of the music

My new short film "Singularity"

xWhereAmI? wrote:Okay finally the upload worked. We had to change some of the music

My new short film "Singularity"

I watched it twice and here's my full review of it…

Unfortunately, Overall - it's kind of messy, mainly in the execution and ends up looking rushed.

Story/Editing:
The first two minutes is of a guy smoking and walking through the woods. This part is unnecessary, its not needed and is frankly very boring. The whole film really starts on 3:22 mark. I feel that you can be much more creative with the edit. Rather than telling the narrative in separate isolated scenes. Intercut them with bi-lateral imagery. build the tension with the Voice over.
Go back and forth with the timelines.

the cross dissolve transitions are irritating and pointless.


Cinematography and Camera Operation:
The handshake of the camera is very noticeable, I understand that you are going for the handheld stylistically it's fine when you have lots of movement, it's difficult to avoid it. But it'd very noticeable on the ECUs, it ruins it!!!! Several times it looks like you are about to drop the camera.
A problem with DSLRs is that manual focus can be a bitch and cause unnecessary shake. Just need a little bit of finesse here.

The B&W looks way better than the colour, the colour grade just doesn't look right to me. Contrast on the colour is very high, there is a lot of blowouts.

What camera/settings were you using?

Sound:
Sound needs to be remixed as there is audio clipping, looks like the file used is at a different mhz as the timeline settings. Voice over presence is very jarring with in the mix.

Production Value: Sorry to be harsh but it was a good effort, hopefully it'll be a great learning experience.

Z. Cobb wrote:

xWhereAmI? wrote:Okay finally the upload worked. We had to change some of the music

My new short film "Singularity"

I watched it twice and here's my full review of it…

Unfortunately, Overall - it's kind of messy, mainly in the execution and ends up looking rushed.

Story/Editing:
The first two minutes is of a guy smoking and walking through the woods. This part is unnecessary, its not needed and is frankly very boring. The whole film really starts on 3:22 mark. I feel that you can be much more creative with the edit. Rather than telling the narrative in separate isolated scenes. Intercut them with bi-lateral imagery. build the tension with the Voice over.
Go back and forth with the timelines.

the cross dissolve transitions are irritating and pointless.


Cinematography and Camera Operation:
The handshake of the camera is very noticeable, I understand that you are going for the handheld stylistically it's fine when you have lots of movement, it's difficult to avoid it. But it'd very noticeable on the ECUs, it ruins it!!!! Several times it looks like you are about to drop the camera.
A problem with DSLRs is that manual focus can be a bitch and cause unnecessary shake. Just need a little bit of finesse here.

The B&W looks way better than the colour, the colour grade just doesn't look right to me. Contrast on the colour is very high, there is a lot of blowouts.

What camera/settings were you using?

Sound:
Sound needs to be remixed as there is audio clipping, looks like the file used is at a different mhz as the timeline settings. Voice over presence is very jarring with in the mix.

Production Value:

When the man comes out of the trunk of the car, he looks way too clean, its not convincing that he's been inside the back of a car, the man was obvious taken against his will, no sign of struggles? no blood? no dirt? no sweat? This guy would be panicking You can get some red food dye, throw some water over him, make it convincing

Sorry to be harsh but it was a good effort, hopefully it'll be a great learning experience.

No hard feelings, I really appreciate you watching it and taking your time to review it for us. We are always looking for advice to make our next short even better! Tbh we threw this together really quick and we really need to get someone who knows editing a hell of a lot more than me, Im not the best editor. We are waiting for our steady cam to ship for our next project. The key to learning for us is to keep filming more and more. I actually love the idea of cross editing the B&W with the woods part (Do you think doing there would be no need for the VO?) For the camera I used a T3i with magic lantern installed on it. If you could, what are ECUs?

Our next short that Im writing is a lot more simpler and more dialogue driven. Also, with this one we are going to have more than a two man crew.

I watched it too. I think Shaz told all points. The thing that annoyed me most was the bad sound edit.
Overall it was good practice!

xWhereAmI? wrote:
No hard feelings, I really appreciate you watching it and taking your time to review it for us. We are always looking for advice to make our next short even better! Tbh we threw this together really quick and we really need to get someone who knows editing a hell of a lot more than me, Im not the best editor. We are waiting for our steady cam to ship for our next project. The key to learning for us is to keep filming more and more. I actually love the idea of cross editing the B&W with the woods part (Do you think doing there would be no need for the VO?) For the camera I used a T3i with magic lantern installed on it. If you could, what are ECUs?

Our next short that Im writing is a lot more simpler and more dialogue driven. Also, with this one we are going to have more than a two man crew.

ECU's are Extreme close ups.

Well take these as the opportunity to learn the editing process.
The editing starts are the writing. If it is clear about what you need to film then you can get creative.

This is not my film. But if I was editing I would start at the tunnel. It opens with a mysterious setting. The voice over can begin there. Then you have the guy smoking. Then you can maybe cut into the B&W going to the trunk then back to the tunnel. Back and forth. Just ideas. But probably have to reshoot it all. Lol.

I have a t2i and run magic lantern too. Try and creative some custom profiles for the camera. It'll help your dynamic range. And lower the aperture a bit, or get an Neutral density filter. It's a tad over cranking the whites.

I mostly shoot my short shorts on my own. It's a good way to push yourself and forces you to be creative within limitations.

Good luck with your next venture. Plan plan plan.

https://vimeo.com/119017852

Reviens

Short film by Shaz Fard

Louisa Harris
Alexander Moss

Voiceover by: Melanie Pinet