Now, some of you may know this, but for those of you who don’t, last year in February, I was dumped. She didn’t do it in person, she was not in the same country as me, nor was she on the same continent. She was on holidays for a month in Japan. There are plenty of other details that I could go into, but if I did, I’d end up with a 500 page manuscript with a potential publishing deal on my hands. Long story short; she ended things with me in the worst way possible.
About 2 months later, I saw her at a local shopping centre. I could tell it was her, and from what I saw from a distance, she knew it was me. I did my best to restrain myself from going up and confronting her, but I did not want to start a scene. Eventually, after a lot of internal struggles, I walked out. Did not see or hear from her again… Until last Thursday.
I’ve been in a relationship since October. We’re very happy together and we’re in love. She’s been in my life long before I even met my ex, and she’s known her since high school because they had mutual friends. My GF understands the depth of the damage that the break-up had on me, and she does not mind me talking about it. It’s a topic that rarely comes up, but when it does, we talk at length about it. Come to Thursday, we were hanging out with a friend of mine from Uni. It was the same place that I had run into my ex last time. We were heading up an escalator to the cinema area because we were about to purchase our tickets for Dumbo. As so as we got to the top, I turned to see my ex’s closest friend. I wasn’t sure if it was her, but we locked eyes for more than was usual amount of time. We past her, then I turned to my GF. She said to “It’s her…”, to which I replied “Really?” before I turned my head around. There she was, my ex riding down the escalator with her friend. While my heart did skip a beat, my immediate reaction, unlike in the previous year when I froze, was laughter. I was laughing because of the situation I was in. My GF told me that as we came around that corner, she saw my ex and she noticed that as soon as she saw me, she immediately looked down and made every effort to hide herself as we walked past her.
What I found hilarious was that I was with two females, one my friend and the other my girlfriend. To know that my first reaction in seeing her was laughter, while hers was embarrassment, brings me so much joy. Almost like a final nail in the coffin for my grief. It tells me that I have officially moved on, and my ex is still embarrassed by what she did to me. For the past year, I have fantasised that I my closure would be similar to the ending of La La Land where Gosling and Stone looked at each other and smiled; my sentimental self was hoping for something like that. I did not get that, but now I know, I don’t need it. I don’t need that closure. All it took was two opportunities for her to make amends, and she refused both. It says more about her character than mine. Plus, it brings me so much joy that I might have ruined her day.
There are a lot of things you are sure that you’ll never overcome. For the past year, I have surrounded myself with the best kinds of people who have have had a hand in making my life more exciting and vibrant, which has helped me through my grief. Life makes a lot more sense when you have people to turn to, and I could not be more grateful.