Marriage Story (2019)

All non-Nolan related film, tv, and streaming discussions.
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Ruth wrote:
December 23rd, 2019, 3:22 pm
i feel sad and shitty and weird today so it’s like the perfect mood to finally watch this tonight
bro it’s okay i had a relationship calamity last night and have been crying for like a day straight, so of course i’ve convinced my family to watch this

why do i hate myself

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It's honestly not that depressing of a film, overall. It's actually quite hopeful in a way. The narrative decisions that the director makes is what was so unexpected for me. It is an emotional journey, but I wouldn't classify it as depressing.

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yeah for sure, but i also left the theater shaking the first time so

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Michaelf2225 wrote:
December 23rd, 2019, 3:44 pm
Ruth wrote:
December 23rd, 2019, 3:22 pm
i feel sad and shitty and weird today so it’s like the perfect mood to finally watch this tonight
bro it’s okay i had a relationship calamity last night and have been crying for like a day straight, so of course i’ve convinced my family to watch this

why do i hate myself
some greek said a thing once about tragedy in life and tragedy in art brings about catharsis and catharsis can heal so

maybe you were onto something


-Vader

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Vader182 wrote:
December 23rd, 2019, 12:59 pm
The point of the movie is that they are both broken, hurt people lashing out at their relationship and one another in ugly ways. It does not "sympathize" with one more than the other.


-Vader
Again, I already pointed it out that this is what the movie intended to do. I'm just saying it failed at doing that from my point of view.

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I absolutely ADORED the fight scene! Everyone keeps sending me tweets where people are saying "you and leo did it better." but my darlings, it's okay to appreciate both. not everything needs to be a competition.

Though I must say, it was rather weird being directed by my ex husband. A lot of our problems went into that movie and it's uncomfortable to watch now.

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Finally saw this. What a touching and wonderful film. I love how the film didn't pick anyone's side. I just really loved the narrative, especially how it's all
tied back to the opening monologues they wrote about the other. Such powerful stuff.
Driver has got to be one of the most versatile leading men working today, I continue to be amazed by his talent.
and he can sing? He could get it
Johansson is terrific too, I hope she'll continue to take on more dramatic work but it's great for her that she has so much success with her blockbusters.

The supporting roles, specifically Dern, Alda and Liotta are all top notch. I loved Dern in BLL (both seasons) but the commanding screen presence she has was dialed up to eleven in this, great work. Alda is charming as ever and I really liked Liotta's performance too.

Hats off to Baumbach to balance these characters with such humanity brought by the actors and to tell such an engaging story. Those 2+ hours flew by.

Also let us all pray Baumbach and Gerwig's kid inherits the insane talent they both have lol

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haven’t yet read everyone’s take on this, but i truly don’t like the idea that some people think this film picks a side. it doesn’t?

they’re both good people at heart doing broken and awful things to both each other and themselves too
Charlie does the more obvious shitty things that are crucial to the downfall of the marriage, and all in all, are pretty unforgivable. And it’s probably why people trick themselves into thinking he’s either the “villain” or someone to be pitied for being pushed into perpetually paying a price too high for his sins (not really but maybe you get me). He cheats, he takes Nicole for granted, and is self absorbed enough to not consider her agency, her perspective. He runs his mouth and says foul shit. And despite loving her, does, for at least some time, see her as an extension of himself, furthering their time by promising her things she would never get. He’s uncompromising. That’s cruel. But this cruelty brings out of Nicole the more sinister underlying tendencies in her - she feigns blissful ignorance with the whole “let’s let the lawyers do their thing” as if being unaware she made the first step of bringing in cutthroat lawyers who were about to fuck their shit up simultaneously as she still maintained a friendly and amicable presence in private. She’s also genuinely the worse parent here, subtly feeding into her son’s unhealthy behavior, subtly alienating her son from his father almost immediately as the divorce papers are served. She is seen just smiling and not doing shit when Henry clings onto her arm, refusing to let go and spend time with Charlie. Then just keeps indulging in that same unhealthy reward habit, promising a reward, setting up the precedent for the kid to think time with his dad is something he has to endure to get something he wants. And while you can argue Driver’s character does leave you wondering if he truly gaslighted her, because it seems like an actual plausibility, Nicole, despite being an actual victim of his shitty behavior, shuts down and gives the impression of someone who never really even attempts to communicate, choosing to internalize everything until the big explosion. She... does kind of self victimize herself. That is... honestly, messy as fuck. It’s a circle of broken behavior, perpetuating itself by both fanning the flames

But they are human beings, not a sum of all of their mistakes, and the film does accurately portray them as such. There are no actual, tangible villains here. Except for the scummy lawyers lol. But stuff just doesn’t work sometimes and idk what else to say. I guess the silver lining here and most hurtful thing at the same time is their capacity to learn and improve upon the things they each thought they lacked - not by working through the issues “together” and staying, but putting an end to their marriage.
Like I know I’m pretty late with my take on this film, but it’s terrific and I obviously had thoughts on it. Both leads deserve an Oscar, and while the Best Actor category will be stacked af, I’m placing all my bets on Driver here. Seriously remarkable performance which I was almost brought to tears by (okay not almost lmao). Johansson is also incredible.

And like I did get the memo of it all - never get married. Got it!


also,
when nicole says of her youth “i was only 19 or 20. never felt older my whole life” i almost gently choked bc i was so personally attacked

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You're so damn right. As for this story, I loved how Baumbach made sure everything was shot form both their perspective. Like in their scene together at the start of the film, after reading the letters, it cuts back and forth between how they see the situation, and Baumbach carried that all throughout the film to further amplify the different point of views. And of course, in a broader sense, how we sort of 'start' with more of a focus on Scarlet and then later on Adam while still keeping up with how they both see this whole divorce. It's powerful stuff and it pays off very well.

As for the Oscars, I think it's going to Phoenix for Joker but if I'd had to guess a close second if not win over Phoenix, it's Driver.

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I avoided watching this because of how much I thought I'd be comparing it to Blue Valentine. I was way off, and I thoroughly enjoyed this. Driver and Johansson are next level. Damn.. kinda drained can't lie

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