Skype Discussion December 19, 2011

**niniendowarrior** December 20, 2011, 1:03 am

Only George showed up, so we discussed what we could. George simply raised his issues with the story thus far and offered this advise. Take it or leave it, Erik. :lol:

George's issues:
1. No satisfying conclusion. Motivations for the crime are not explored and how the crime happened was not satisfactorily answered.
2. Needs more mystery and unique ideas to the script.
3. Dialog is a bit stiff.
4. The differing details during interviews are random.
5. Might be better instead of doing 3 interviews to do 3 different point of views as they experience the crime.
*May look into other things specific.

Okay... now George... get ready to get flamed! :lol:

**Erik** December 20, 2011, 6:43 am

I don't like it that the script has been out for more then a year now and NOW he complains about it.
I will see what we're gonna do about it.

**George** December 20, 2011, 11:30 am

Erik wrote:I don't like it that the script has been out for more then a year now and NOW he complains about it.
I will see what we're gonna do about it.

What's your opinion on the issues themselves, though? I'm raising them now mainly because it feels like interest is fading and more radical steps could (and probably should) be taken on the project as a result. Plus, when there were quite a few other writers involved with the project I didn't think it was my place to make recommendations that would cause major ripples when the script was specifically structured to accommodate multiple directors.

It's a little bothersome to me that you wouldn't like to hear script recommendations during pre-production despite the script being out for more than a year. Not only is actual filming barely any closer to commencing than it was months ago, but these are actually legitimate criticisms that could lead to a much sharper and smarter short film and possibly more interest from the people who are supposed to be more involved.

**niniendowarrior** December 20, 2011, 4:08 pm

Better late than never. Besides, we haven't really stepped into actual shooting so we do have time to listen to these feedback. I think George brings up legitimate points (albeit a little late). It's not too late to act on it, though it would be good to have the directors chime in on this one as well.

**Erik** December 20, 2011, 4:54 pm

The way you say it makes me look bad. Thanks!

The reason why I said that I would see what we're gonna do about is, is that we had 4 different writers working on this. What am I supposed to do? Let them rewrite it? Rewrite it myself (and setting them aside)? I just haven't figured it out yet.
As for my thoughts about the script; I agree that the script isn't flawless. Yet I didn't go over it again, because of the many writers we had and the fact that this is more of a prototype movie. Prototypes are never flawless.

I wanna know more opinions about this.

**niniendowarrior** December 20, 2011, 6:23 pm

Erik wrote:The way you say it makes me look bad. Thanks!

The reason why I said that I would see what we're gonna do about is, is that we had 4 different writers working on this. What am I supposed to do? Let them rewrite it? Rewrite it myself (and setting them aside)? I just haven't figured it out yet.
As for my thoughts about the script; I agree that the script isn't flawless. Yet I didn't go over it again, because of the many writers we had and the fact that this is more of a prototype movie. Prototypes are never flawless.

I wanna know more opinions about this.

Let's not wallow on who looks bad here and figure out how to improve this document. By the way, it was not my intention to make you look bad Erik. I just wanted a clear list of bullet points of the main points George wanted to get across. It may seem blunt but it's direct to the point. I repeat, if you felt offended by the post, I apologize and say it wasn't my intentions.

I think the different writers did a good job but it certainly isn't flawless. My personal take is that the script is an ever evolving document, so you and others involved should be free to rewrite it. Before rewrites, it's likely in order to talk all of these through though. Otherwise, it'll end up with everybody have their own version of the script and nobody agreeing with anything. :lol:

Come on... let's work together and make this better.

**Erik** December 21, 2011, 6:30 am

I was a bit offended by George, not you.

Anyway, I am gonna PM all crew members to read about this discussion and if they have an opinion, to give it.

In my idea, it's the structure that really lacks it. It is supposed to be a twist that all the interrogations are about the same crime, but due to the structure now, it is way to obvious.

**Mason** December 21, 2011, 10:58 am

Just out of curiosity, would I be able to read the script? I'm intrigued...

**freakybatman** December 21, 2011, 11:15 am

Let's rewrite it then, let's do something, I did some rewrites last time but they weren't submitted.

**NothinButM** December 21, 2011, 4:10 pm

I agree, rewrite's are warranted in this case. So let's figure this out ASAP so that we can get to pre-production and on the same page with it. I had already mentioned I was going to rewrite my segment, but if more needs to be done throughout the entire script, I'll set the time aside to help with it.