this is about dreams, dreams in dreams, and has a dream female that consumes the lead male.
JUST A NOTE
i will change the spinning top to a button or coin, i just hadn't decided so just for the stories sake i had that, but it will defiantly change.
this is a short film script so it isn't too lengthy.
the name in the corner (top right) is just a stage name i have for online things.
It is a little bit too much like Inception, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. You can make the project more personal and inject your own interpretation. You do a little of that, but don't be afraid to separate more from Inception.
Also the dialogue seemed a little wooden to me. Read it back out loud and see how natural it feels and sounds. That's a good way to judge dialogue. Also there might be a little too much exposition, but that is difficult to get around.
You also misspelled "Soldier" a lot.
I really liked the ending and the visuals sound really good. I might worry that there is too much cutting between realities, but it can be pulled off.
I like the idea and think this could be very good.
Alright, you asked me to read this about a month ago, but I didn't really had the time then. So I actually just read this.
I thought it was way too much like Inception. It is basically a alternative version of the story Mal and Cobb. You used the same theories that Nolan came up with in Inception. The story would be great if the weird tricks of dreaming weren't used before.
David emerges from the store slowly. He braces himself against a parked car and then keeps on walking in a nightmarish daze.
WE PULL BACK as David blends in with dozens and dozens of ordinary people, walking on an ordinary street, in an ordinary city.
Erik wrote:Alright, you asked me to read this about a month ago, but I didn't really had the time then. So I actually just read this.
I thought it was way too much like Inception. It is basically a alternative version of the story Mal and Cobb. You used the same theories that Nolan came up with in Inception. The story would be great if the weird tricks of dreaming weren't used before.
yeah i decided to abanden the project about 3 weeks ago
i thought the same things
