Loading...
For those that have dreams of making films!

Moderator: Erik

The Gloom, 2016, Entered in Purdue University Film Festival

Posts: 2002
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X5Kcit3UDI[/youtube]

Hey all! I hope you guys enjoy this film I've entered in a film festival. I'll let you know how it performs at the festival. Hopefully you enjoy it more than my previous efforts on here. I'm sure you can see the improvement.
Posts: 603
Location: DE
I'm not familiar with your previous efforts, but I'll try to tell you my opinion. The film isn't scary at all, nor do I know what you're trying to say exactly. The script seems sloppy and the acting was so atrocious that it made me laugh. The film looks like you filmed it with a phone, it looks shaky and really cheap. There is no proper lighting, no interesting colours and environments. The editing is horrendous, you're moving the camera around way too much instead of cutting, the pacing is slow, no tension is build. I don't really know what else to say.
So the most important thing here is that you're still making films and actually trying to improve you skills. I can't emphasize that enough.

The film is rough, but IMO there are two things you can do with the footage you have to improve it.

1. Don't call it Anand Balar's The Gloom. Just call it The Gloom. Putting your name in the title is pretentious when anyone does it but especially aspiring filmmakers. It makes your audience think your full of shit.

2. Edit heavily. 99% of amateur films should be shorter, but this one lingered far too often to warrant a 10 minute length. If you set a goal length and challenged yourself to cut it below that your film would be more concise and you'd also hone your editing skills. I think there's a watchable three minute film here. That may sound crazy but I think you'd be surprised how much fat could be trimmed if you gave it a shot.
Posts: 10355
Location: Santa Barbara
1. Invest in better equipment. With a proper microphone and camera, you can do a lot to up the quality of your overall presentation. Just from viewing the first twenty seconds of your film, I can tell you that it looks and sounds cheap, and that's a huge turnoff for me.

2. Pay attention to how you frame your shots. Right now, your film looks like a Tom Hooper film gone wrong.

3. There's a lot of problems in the sound department. Try to stay away from using music (especially from other films) that is easily recognizable. Make sure background noises don't interfere with the dialogue you're trying to present; this ain't Interstellar.

4. Adding onto what solo said about putting your name in the title of the video, consider dropping the "Balar Star Productions" introduction. It just reminds your audience that they're watching an amateur effort.

5. Unless you're Chivo, most people don't fuck with natural lighting. Try to capture a consistent look. Light it the fuck up lol.

6. Both Dobson and solo have mentioned the editing. EDIT, EDIT, EDIT! Give your film a snappier pace and cut out all the excess fat, because you need to keep your audience engaged throughout. I think you could get the same message across (with perhaps more of an impact) in under seven minutes.

7. The script and the acting talents you have at hand are problematic. The dialogue you prepared is difficult to sell, and it certainly doesn't help that your actors can't act. At least one of these things needs to change. Either you write a script that feels more natural or you find actors that can sell porn dialogue. I'll go ahead and say the former will be easier.

8. Screen your film to more people that will give you proper input; friends and family usually won't do that for you, so stay away from them. Take heed of the advice you receive, most people that would bother to give you in-depth advice are worth considering.

Hope you don't take our criticism too harshly. I'm pretty sure most of us mean well. Good luck!
Posts: 7305
Location: London town, UK
7212017 wrote:1. Invest in better equipment. With a proper microphone and camera, you can do a lot to up the quality of your overall presentation. Just from viewing the first twenty seconds of your film, I can tell you that it looks and sounds cheap, and that's a huge turnoff for me.


Better Equipment isn't necessarily going to solve the issues here. What is missing inherently is craft. Each department is not well refined.

You got to have improvements across the board. I could nail into this but I haven't really got the time. Here are some tips/improvements below:

CINEMATOGRAPHY:
What turned me off the most was the camera operating. It was just very very poor. It's like you weren't settled on that position.
Here are some tips to improve:
1. Practice your camera move(s) before you hit record as you can work out where you need to be in relation to your talent.
2. If you are going to shoot on a sunny day - get/use an ND filter. If you don't have one, you can just about shoot on cloudy days (our natural diffuser of light) or you shoot during golden hour.
3. When filming in interiors, you have more of a chance to be a bit more creative with your setup. I suggest getting some cheap desk lamps or tube lights and play around bouncing the light off white cardboard or through a light cloth/fabric rather than using the actual light source of the room.

GRADE:
There was an almost non-existent grade here. It looked very close to what the camera outputs. White balance is all over the place. No consistent look.

EDITING:
You can cut the first 2 minutes and put it in the trash. Doesn't do anything really.

STORY/SCRIPT:
I understand the message here and it's decent enough idea, but you are kind of confused about what type of film this is. Is it horror/suspense? or is it psychological thriller, or drama or whatever.
But again, need to cut the crap and get to the point. There is so much cliched moments that can go.

---

I cannot stress enough the need to refine skills in all the technical aspects. Work hard at it. It needs to be your bread and butter. Especially if you are working with a skeleton crew.


NOTE: what is up with those stock time-lapse shots.
Posts: 2002
Z. Cobb wrote:

NOTE: what is up with those stock time-lapse shots.

Needed a transition Lol.
Posts: 2687
Location: philly.
FreakLikeMe wrote:
Z. Cobb wrote:

NOTE: what is up with those stock time-lapse shots.

Needed a transition Lol.

i really think you should ditch 'em
Posts: 7305
Location: London town, UK
Michaelf2225 wrote:
FreakLikeMe wrote:
Z. Cobb wrote:

NOTE: what is up with those stock time-lapse shots.

Needed a transition Lol.

i really think you should ditch 'em


Yep ditch them, they are neither good quality nor the same aspect ratio. Or actually go out and do some time lapse yourself. ;)
Posts: 2002
I think my issue is this: I didn't know what to do for filler. And I'm not confident enough to cut around and jump to scenes quiet yet. I feel like it would be jarring for me to do that. And I don't feel comfortable without having Cuaron-esque transitioning.
FreakLikeMe wrote:I think my issue is this: I didn't know what to do for filler. And I'm not confident enough to cut around and jump to scenes quiet yet. I feel like it would be jarring for me to do that. And I don't feel comfortable without having Cuaron-esque transitioning.

if cuaron used a technique and it worked it doesn't mean the technique always works it means he implemented it in a way that served the story.

no one should ever consciously put 'filler' in their film.

and what are you saying? you're afraid to edit? you need to assess your film and identify everything that's unnecessary or could be tighter and cut it without remorse. shots you're already calling filler are your first target.
← Return to Aspiring Filmmakers
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests.