So I wrote 3 songs/poems in the past week, because of things happening in my life. I'm quite proud of them, as they've been helping me deal with issues now. At least some of the problems are slowly getting better, and the rest.. well, I hope they will soon too, since I know I can make them so..
I contradict myself in them which made me laugh, since it shows the difference in my thinking throughout the week.
Clouds
there must be a place saved for me
up beyond the clouds
a place of comfort and of freedom
from social shackles and bounds
like a lonely hawk up in the sky
i've searched far for that place
but all that i have in my life
is sickness and disgrace
don't betray me, ghost of the past
in those times ahead
i'm uncertain and i'm weary
of failing to pretend
i once saw a mask of gold
i wish i had it now
though deformity and fakeness
i could never self allow
letting go of the present
is truly my one wish
so i could find that place up in the sky
and get rid of my leash
Life of an Optimist
only when we learn to write, we can build our culture
only when we beat outselves, we can win our future
but she doesn't seem to care or mind
that these drugs will make her blind
and the past just fades away
like the dream of night at day
how can we stay on the right track
when we can't even look back
how can we plan what lies ahead
when it's the present that we dread
erato, sing to me and make me see
who's the person i can be
but in order to know what can be done
i need to know the person i've become
i look in the mirror in disgust
when did i lose all my self trust
and if i can't accept what i see
how could i ever be what i need to be
all questions have an answer, if we really look
if i could open my mind and read my own book
but i know i'll find my place in this cruel world
when this path that i dream of will finally unfold
Special
let's move together to a far away land
where the music keeps playing
and no one needs to pretend
how can i ever unsee what i've seen
how can we let go of the state that we're in
there must be a way for us to smile once again
a way to let go of darkness and pain
a storm deep within
like heaven and hell collide
the mind is the watchman
you must abide
it might be confusing, bleak and full of dust
but don't let go of your present
don't give up on your past
the future's in the distance
the lighthouse in the dark
you just need to be strong until you win back the spark
Uhm...I write songs, some of which are on YouTube under my real name. I also write fanfiction for several fandoms - two WIPs and a fourquel which has yet to be planned and written. I haven't written a song since March, though, which makes me feel kind of sad; usually quite regular with my songwriting.